Running Away
by Maddielmo
Summary: This story is about Bella and Edward. It's during New Moon and kind of an alternative path. In this story, Bella finds herself running away. The italic words are lyrics to songs. Disclaimer: charcters belong to Stephanie Meyer's Twilight Series.
1. Until Tomorrow

(Bella's POV)

If there was one thing that I was absolutely aware of, it was that I was completely shattered inside. I knew that I was beyond recognition and it shown just as noticeably on the outside. The past six months had left my life in shambles and each new day viciously battered at whatever was left of it. I was vulnerable in every single sense of the word and I knew I wouldn't last much longer if I didn't find something to cling to.

I thought I had found a something, or someone to hold on to only to be cast away just the same. My stronghold was Jacob Black; my best friend. He had revived me after so many months of darkness after Edward left. I used to think of him as the sun in my world of darkness at the time. But now, he left too. He joined the gang he used to spurn down in La Push with Sam Uley. I was once again left to wonder what was wrong with me and why everyone continued to leave.

As I lay in bed and thought about Jacob and dare I say Edward, I openly invited every memory I could think of. I thought of those months before Edward left. I thought about the moment he left me in the forest and I had tried to follow him. I thought about how Sam Uley found me, and after four months Jake began to come into my life and save. I also thought about last week, the last time I saw Jacob. Before he decided that he didn't want me in his life anymore. Every recollection that came stabbed a dagger through my heart and twisted it. Enlarging the hole in my heart every moment I thought about them, especially Edward. I don't remember falling asleep, but I do remember that I cried all night… even in my dreamless sleep.

_Until Tomorrow – Paramore_

_I Climb, I Slip, I Fall  
Reaching for your hands  
But I lay here all alone  
Sweating all your blood  
If I could find out how  
To make you listen now  
Because I'm starving for you here  
With my undying love and I  
....I will_

Breathe for love tomorrow  
Cause there's no hope for today  
Breathe for love tomorrow  
Cause maybe there's another way

The next morning I woke up with my arms outstretched, searching for Edward, on what used to be his side of the bed. I was aware, as I was every morning for the past six months that I was laying there alone. I felt the beads of sweat on my brow and I buried my head and began to weep. I cried his name over and over again into my pillow. "Edward… Edward… Edward…" I knew he couldn't hear me but part of me hoped that he could and could hear my undying love that I was professing. My tears slowly dried and I sat up. I took a deep breath, breathing for love tomorrow. Hoping Edward would come back and love me, but I knew for a fact that there would be no hope for today. Today… I would be numb and I would be exposed.

I eventually got out of bed, after my breakdown, and walked to my closet. I never bothered dressing up for school anymore; I didn't have a reason to. I grabbed the first pair of jeans I could find from my closet and a red t-shirt. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, put my hair up, and headed downstairs for breakfast.

Charlie was already there with his coffee, reading the paper. "You're mom called again."

I looked up at him, there was no personality in my voice, "Oh yeah? What'd she say?"

"She said she wanted you to call her. She's worried about you. You don't sound happy in your e-mails anymore and she knows you're not telling her the truth about you being 'fine'. She asked me about Jake but I didn't know what to tell her. How are things with Jacob?"

At this point I had grabbed some cereal out of the cabinet, poured the milk, and was in the process of getting my spoon when I realized he wanted an answer. "Um… well dad, Jake turned out like everyone else. He just ended up leaving. He won't answer my calls and neither will Billy."

"Just give it time Bells, I know it's hard but it'll work out."

I sighed and just wanted to be done with the conversation. At least at school, no one would talk to me about Jacob or Edward and would pretty much leave me be.

"Yeah, maybe your right," but I knew better. It wasn't going to be fine. I would end up alone in more ways than one.

I glanced at the clock and decided I could leave for school now and get there before I had free time to let my mind roam where I didn't want it to go.

"I'm going to be late for school dad, I better go. I'll see you later."

"Bye Bells." He voice was filled with sadness and I left wishing I was a better actress.


	2. Come In With The Rain

I went straight to the phone as soon as I got home from school. I dialed Jacob's number but I knew the whole process would be pointless and in vain, but it had become habit over the past week. I'd come home, call Jacob and then go up to my room and sulk.

Just as I had suspected, there was no answer. I then went upstairs and turned on my ancient computer. I decided I should write Renee an e-mail. I told myself that I would be animated enough so she wouldn't find a reason to call and ask about how my life was. Then I wouldn't have to lie about the fact that I was drowning in my own pool of darkness.

I quickly wrote about how my day went, how I haven't heard from Jake in awhile, and that I was fine. I put stress on how I was "fine" and that she didn't need to call Charlie. After I was satisfied with my e-mail, I clicked send, climbed into bed and stared at the ceiling. It was only 4:00 and I'd have to start making dinner for Charlie. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and forget about everything. Instead of lying in bed, I got up and went to the window. I leaned out into the cold, rainy afternoon and closed my eyes. I took in a deep breath and whispered "Edward… come back to me."

_Come In With the Rain – Taylor Swift_

_I've watched you so long  
screamed your name  
I don't know what else  
I can say_

But I'll leave my window open  
Cause I'm too tired tonight  
for all these games  
Just know I'm right here hoping  
You'll come in with the rain

I could go back to every laugh  
But I don't want to go there  
anymore…

When Charlie came home, I was pulling out the chicken from the oven. "Hey Bells," Charlie said. "I talked to Billy. Jakes just going through a hard time. Just hang in there Bella."

"Okay Dad," was all I was able to say. I knew what Jake was really feeling. He didn't want me to be near him anymore. Much like how Edward got tired of me and left.

I sat down and started eating in silence. Charlie was consumed in eating food that he too ate in silence. I ate quickly, gulping down a glass of milk right before I started cleaning the kitchen. I headed up the stairs. I didn't want to think about how I used to go see Jacob after dinner sometimes, but the thoughts were starting to come anyway. Half way up the stairs Charlie yelled and asked me to join him in the living room.

He was propped in his favorite chair watching his favorite team on the TV. He looked up at me and said, "Should I be worried about you again Bella? You're starting to mope again, just like after … well… anyway, I don't want to see you in that place again. If I need to do something, let me know okay Bella. I want to help this time."

"That's great dad but I don't think you could help. I just need to work things out on my own, you know? I promise though dad, it won't be that bad… okay?" Charlie didn't need to know that I was still in that place. I was just trying to cover it up better so people would leave me alone.

"Alright Bella, love you." I knew Charlie didn't fully believe me.

"Love you too dad, night."

I headed back up the stairs. Once up there, I went straight to my window and opened it up, as wide as I could. The rain poured in but I didn't care. I grabbed a pillow and a blanket and slept under the window. I knew I was being stupid but I still hoped Edward would come back to me. I didn't want him to just pop in to check on me and then leave without me seeing him. Although, I knew that if he really didn't want me to see him, sleeping under the window wouldn't affect that.


	3. Ache

I woke up an hour later to a closed window and another blanket on me. I was vaguely aware that someone was in my room. I didn't feel like answering Charlie's questions right now so I avoided opening my eyes. Curiosity eventually got the best of me.

I sighed, set up, and prepared for an unusual conversation with a dad who was on the verge of trying to send me off to Jacksonville again.

"Honestly Bella, you really know how to draw attention to yourself. If I didn't come shut your window, you'd be coughing and wheezing all day, probably with pneumonia. It's not like Carlisle is just around the corner anymore."

I suddenly became alert, I knew that voice. It was that beautiful, high pitched, harmonious voice that I absolutely adored. I ran to flip the light on to make sure I was seeing things right. I did. There on my bed set the most wonderful, best friend a girl could ever have. It was Alice.

"Oh Alice," I flung myself at her and began to cry. "You really are here aren't you? I missed you so much. Why did you stay away so long, why didn't you tell me bye?"

"I wanted to but it was Edwards plan. Clean break and all that. I'm sorry it took me so long to come and see you but I just couldn't stand to see you miserable anymore and I certainly didn't want to see you sick."

"Have you come back for good Alice?" I knew the answer before I even said a word.

"No."

I knew that all too well, but she just had to stay, at least for one day. That one day would give me just enough time to regain composure so I could get through the next however many months of numbness.

"How long are you here then Alice?"

"Just a day or so. I'm meeting Jasper in Alaska in a few days and thought I could at least save you from getting sick."

"Thank you Alice."

"You're welcome Bella. You should probably get sleep though."

"No, that's okay. I'm not tired anymore. Will you tell me what you guys have been doing for the past six months?"

I didn't want to hear about what Edward was doing. I was afraid it would hurt too much. I was, however, genuinely interested in the rest of the Cullen family.

"Well," she started, "we haven't been together really. Jasper is trying to get over his weaknesses, Carlisle and Esme and renovating a house in Montana, and Emmet and Rosalie are in Africa."

"You guys aren't together," I blurted out. I was amazed and yet felt extremely responsible for the breaking of the Cullen family. "That's horrible, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you guys to be apart."

"Bella it's not your fault. These things happen; we'll be back together soon."

"Can you see that?"

"Yeah, I just don't know how we get to that point. It's all very blurry right now." She sounded so sad when she said that. I felt a tear welling up.

------------------------------------------------------------

Alice had insisted I get in bed. She laid beside me with a doodle pad, working on new outfit designs I assumed. As much as I didn't want to ask about Edward, I knew I had to.

"Alice?"

"Hmm?" she said, deep in her drawings.

"Where is Edward?"

"Oh… um I'm not really sure. He won't tell us. Probably knows we'd drag him back down to Forks."

"Is he happy?"

"…"

"Alice?"

"No Bella, he's not happy… not at all."

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(Edward's POV)

For six long months, I've been curled up in a tight ball, trying to hold myself together. My thoughts were so clear and vivid that I couldn't get away from her eyes. They kept finding me. The face she had when I left her that day in the forest has haunted me ever sense. I had to say whatever I could to get away. She deserved better, to have a chance. I didn't stop driving till I reached the Mexican border. I couldn't afford to stop any closer 'cause I knew I'd turn back.

I wasn't good for her… but she was the best thing for me. I was being selfish and put my needs before hers. I couldn't do that any longer. I had to let her go and find her own way. I knew it'd be hard, but I didn't know it would be this catatonic. Every part of me ached for her touch, for her taste, for her smell. I longed to hold her in my arms and tell her I was sorry for everything. Yes… I ached for her.

_Ache – James Carrington_

_Isn't it strange the way, things can change_

_Life that you lead turned on its head._

_Suddenly someone, means more than you felt for_

_House in its yard, turns into home. _

_Sorry but I meant to say, so many things along the way_

_This one's for you_

_Have I told you I ache?_

_Have I told you I ache?_

_Have I told you I ache, for you?_

_-----------------------------------------------------_

(Bella's POV)

I didn't have a nightmare that night. Instead I dreamed of Alice and I. It was pleasant and comforting. I was using her cell phone, not entirely sure who I was talking to but it didn't matter 'cause it was like the last six months hadn't happened at all and Alice and I were just on another shopping trip.

I awoke from my dream with a thought. Alice's cell phone held Edward's number. If she could just let me use it and speak to Edward, maybe he'd come back, at least for a bit. I knew he didn't love me but his family loved him and needed to be with him. Maybe I could just call him to help the Cullens and in the process… I'd hear his voice and know he was still out there somewhere. I could survive if I knew he was okay… if he eventually found a way to be happy.

I decided I'd at least ask Alice, so at breakfast, I did.

"Hey Alice, I was wondering if you could do me a favor."

"Sure, but I already knew what you were going to ask this morning."

"Oh yeah… I forgot about that. So um… what do you think?"

"Well… it'll get me in trouble that's for sure. I'm not even supposed to be here. He said just to let you live your life free from danger. I think I'd be able handle him though, so sure."

"Can't you see what will happen when I call him?"

"No because I don't know if he'll answer, I'll know when he does decide to answer. The gift is tricky like that, you know. "

"Yeah," I sighed, "I know."

--------------------------------------------------------

(Edward's POV)

I'd had little contact with my family since I left. They called every once in awhile to make sure I was still okay but I didn't contact them on my own. I felt horrible for splitting the family up, although they'd never our right blame me. Rose would, but she blamed everyone for everything. It wasn't uncommon for her. I did however avoid Alice's calls. They always seemed to veer towards the topic of how it was stupid for me to leave Bella. How she wasn't doing well and I needed to go home.

"Home," I chuckled darkly. It'd be nice if I could go home. Home was with Bella though, and Bella didn't need me in her life destroying it.

The phone suddenly rang. "Speaking of," I mumbled. "Look Alice, if you're calling to tell me about Bella and how miserable she is and how much I need to come home then save it okay? I don't want to hear it and I'm not coming home?"

I didn't hear a response on the other end of the phone. I had offended her it was clear but there was something else that was off. I couldn't hear Alice's thoughts.

"Alice, are you okay?"

"Why did you even bother saving me from that van Edward? You could have saved us both the trouble a long time ago. I wouldn't have fallen in love and you wouldn't have felt sorry for me and pretended to be."

The phone went silent as it slipped from my hand and fell on the ground.

"Bella…" is all I said and I was gone.

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	4. Moving On

**Hi guys, thanks to everyone who is following the story. I'm starting to get self-conscious so if you like the story please let me know. Also if you have any suggestions as to where the story could possibly be heading or where you think it might ;) Thanks again to everyone and now back to the story. **

**-------------------------------------------**

(Edward's POV)

I wasn't sure where I was headed but I knew I had to get a grip of myself. I had to figure out everything that just happened. I slowed down on the outskirts of Monterrey.

Why was Bella on Alice's phone? Why did she call me? Why didn't Alice warn me or something? What if something was wrong with Bella? I had to know if she was okay. I tried calling Alice but I couldn't get a hold of her. I knew she was probably mad at me, I didn't blame her.

If there was one thing I did know out of everything that had happen. I had heard Bella's voice. My heart flew at the sound till I realized what she was saying. I can only imagine how she would've interpreted what I said. I had to find her; I had to fix this… somehow.

(Bella's POV)

_Angels- Within Temptation_

_Sparkling angel, I believe  
You are my savior, In my time of need  
Blinded by faith, I couldn't hear  
All the whispers, The warning's so clear_

I see the angels, I'll lead them to your door  
There is no escape now, Now mercy no more  
No remorse 'cause I still remember  
The smile when you tore me apart

You took my heart  
Deceived me right from the start  
You showed me dreams  
I wished they'd turn to real  
You broke the promise  
And made me realize  
It was all just a lie

Could have been forever  
Now we have reached the end  
This world may have failed you  
It doesn't give the reason why  
You could have chosen  
A different path of life

I had betrayed myself. I knew I shouldn't have called Edward. I knew this would end in disaster because he didn't love me. How could someone so perfect love someone so normal and clumsy? I had to get away. I had to run.

(Edward's POV)

Before I knew it, I was crossing the Mexican boarder heading for home.

"Home," I sighed. It felt good finally saying that I was going home. I pinched the bridge of my nose as I remembered what I was going home too. I was going home to a broken Bella according to Alice. I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was broken. I knew I was to blame for that, especially after the phone call.

"Why did I have to be such a wreck?" I punched the steering wheel and the horn bellowed persistently while locked into place. "Crap," I muttered as I tried to fix the horn so it would stop screeching.

----------------------------------------

(Bella's POV)

My bags were in the truck and I was trying to be quiet. It was late and Charlie had been in bed for several hours but I didn't want to take chances on waking him up. I pulled an envelope out of my pocket. On the front it read simply 'dad'. Inside was the most painful letter I had ever written and I knew it would break Charlie's heart.

Dad,

I'm sorry, but I've gotta get out of Forks. It's gotten so hard. I don't even know where I'm going but I have got to get out of Forks. Everything reminds me of Edward and it just hurts too much. Tell Jake I'm sorry too, it's not his fault. Let him know that please. I love you dad.

Bella

My writing was messier then normal thanks to my unrelenting tears and the hole that was getting bigger with every second. It was hard not to say what I really wanted too to Jake and how it was his fault that this hole was coming back.

No…

That's not exactly true. It was mine. It was my fault the hole as back. I had become to dependent on Jake. But he did break his promise about hurting me. He said he would never leave me either, like Edward did, but Jacob lied too.

Jacob leaving was the final straw on the camel's back or whatever that stupid phrase was. I just had to get out of this town that held every memory that had ever meant anything to me. It was time that I moved on, at least for awhile. Somewhere I could survive.

_I'm Moving On – Rascal Flatts_

_I've lived in this place and I know all the faces_

_Each one is different but they're always the same_

_They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it_

_They'll never allow me to change_

_But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong_

_I'm moving on_

_----------------------------------------------------------------_

(Bella's POV)

The sun was just coming up as I reached a little town called Seaside. I had only been driving four hours but I was exhausted. My eyes we red and puffy from the past three hours of tears that never seemed to end. I found a hotel right on the beach that I paid for with my 'college fund'. There was no way I was going to consider college at this point.

I rented a room and headed up the stairs. There was a veranda that over looked the Pacific Ocean. I sat there for a few moments before I fell asleep, curled in a ball on the balcony, trying to hold myself together.

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**Hey guys ******** What'd you think? **


	5. Home

**Hi guys, thanks to everyone who is following the story. I'm starting to get self-conscious so if you like the story please let me know. Also if you have any suggestions as to where the story could possibly be heading or where you think it might ;) Thanks again to everyone and now back to the story. **

(Edward's POV)

I turned a 30 hour trip across the country into a 20 hour trip. Amazing how fast you can drive when you're a vampire with a built in cop radar. The whole trip was spent thinking about what I was going to say to Bella. I had to find a way to make everything okay. I never meant to hurt her.

It's clear that I had though; in so many ways. I also thought about the possibility of coming home to a happy Bella. What if I misinterpreted the sound of her voice? I mean, I know she was angry but what if she was 'ok'. Maybe she was calling me to ease my pain because she had to know that I wasn't happy from Alice. Or that she had found someone new and that she'll be able survive.

I didn't want to think about that possibility. As much as that had been my intention, I wanted Bella to myself. I was selfish to keep her as long as I did before I left and six months hadn't changed that. I needed her and I'd find a way to win her heart, whether it was taken or not.

Part of me hoped that I could pull in her drive way and she'd run out the door with that beautiful smile that had come to love and adore. She'd run straight into my arms and I'd swing her around, kissing every inch of her face. I'd bury my head into her hair, drown in her scent, and I wouldn't let her down, no matter what.

A "Welcome to Forks" sign woke me from my daydream. I became anxious and if I had a stomach that functioned correctly, I'm sure it'd have butterflies.

-----------------------------------

_Home – Michael Buble_

_Another summer day  
Is come and gone away  
In Paris and Rome  
But I wanna go home  
Mmmmmmmm_

Maybe surrounded by  
A million people I  
Still feel all alone  
I just wanna go home  
Oh I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you  
Each one a line or two  
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"  
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough  
My words were cold and flat  
And you deserve more than that

Another aero plane  
Another sunny place  
I'm lucky I know  
But I wanna go home  
Mmmm, I've got to go home

Let me go home  
I'm just too far from where you are  
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life  
It's like I just stepped outside  
When everything was going right  
And I know just why you could not  
Come along with me  
But this was not your dream  
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come  
And gone away  
And even Paris and Rome  
And I wanna go home  
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by  
A million people I  
Still feel alone  
Oh, let go home  
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home  
I've had my run  
Baby, I'm done  
I gotta go home  
Let me go home  
It will all right  
I'll be home tonight  
I'm coming back home

_-----------------------------------------------------_

I drove a little faster than I should through the small town of Forks. I needed to get to her house as quick as I could. It was about 4:00 and she should be home from school by now. Maybe she'd be sitting on her bed doing homework and I could just go through her window like old times.

I pulled around the corner and saw that there were three more police cars at her house then usual. Maybe Charlie was having a dinner with some guys from work. When I got closer I found their conversation were not what I had expected.

"When did you find the note Charlie," said one cop.

"About five o'clock this morning," Charlie said.

What note were they talking about? What had happened in the last day and half?

"Did you try calling her," said another cop.

"No, she doesn't have a cell phone. I did try Renee and she hasn't heard from her either." Charlie sounded drained and troubled.

My heart would've stopped if it wasn't already. Where was my Bella? What had she done?

"Well find her Charlie, don't worry," said the last cop.

I was pulling in the driveway by now and was getting ready to get out of the car when Charlie came out the door. He took one look at me and became angry. He started to come towards me and I didn't like where his thoughts were headed.

"You. This is your fault," he yelled. He was pointing his finger at me, shaking it. "She would never had left if you didn't leave her six like that. You destroyed her. How dare you come back here."

"Charlie, I… what do you mean she left?"

"She ran away Edward, and it's because of you."

Charlie threw a note at my feet. I bent down to pick it up. As I read the words my world came crashing down. How could Bella leave?

"Get off my property you little piece of crap," Charlie yelled at me.

I got into the car and took off to my old house. I was hoping someone was there. Alice must've seen something. Would she still be watching Bella? Would she see me come home or would she still be focusing everything she had on Jasper?

I rounded the bend and turned onto my driveway. The forest had grown back so quickly it was hard to tell if anyone ever lived here. I saw the house and ran inside yelling.

"Alice? Bella? Anybody? Is anyone here?" I knew I was grasping at straws in hoping Bella was here, but part of me still hoped.

Alice walked down the steps with Jasper by her side.

"Hi Edward," Alice said crashing into my arms. "I missed you so much. I'm so sorry about Bella."

"Do you know where she's at?"

"No… I do know she's past Hoquiam because she decided to stop there but they didn't have any rooms so she just kept driving."

"I'm sorry Edward, I know how you're feeling," Jasper had said.

I laughed a humorless smile. "I know you do Jasper, thanks though."

I leaned against the wall and slid down with my head in my hands. Where was my Bella?


	6. Updated Salt and Fish

**I got a review back about Bella's condition at the end of this story and they were right. It was kind of heading in a weird spot so I changed it a bit. I'm going to try and fix this. Thanks for the review by the way. **

(Bella's POV)

I awoke to a cold wind, blowing in off the ocean. It smelled strongly of salt and fish, but there was also a pleasant smell mixed in. There was a beautiful flowery smell that was coming in off the beach. I looked over the balcony edge and saw rows of wild flowers all along the coast.

It was a comforting smell and it took a while before I realized why it was comforting. I suddenly had a flashback.

I went back six months ago to Edward's house. We were sitting on his porch, watching his family. Jasper was chasing Alice in the forest. She wove in and out of the tree, laughing in a musical voice. It was clear Jasper wasn't trying to catch her. There was a large smile on his face, clearly enjoying the chase.

Rosalie and Emmett were lying in the sun. Their love for each other was so evident. Emmett was playing with Rose's hair while she looked at a magazine. She was probably looking for the newest fashion trends.

I reached over and grabbed Edward's hand as I noticed Esme; working in her flower garden. The flowers were the same that were on the beach, only her flowers were much prettier.

I came back from my memories and realized I was once again, curled in a ball on the balcony. Tears were streaming down my face. I found comfort in the cold, hard concrete and I didn't have to think why that was. I knew he wasn't coming back for me… and thanks to the phone call, I knew it was because he didn't care.

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I finally got off the floor and inhaled deeply. Why not go all out if you were going to torture yourself. I wasn't holding back memories anymore; I just let them flow whenever they decided to emerge.

I walked back into my room and grabbed a blanket off the bed.

"Now what," I sighed.

My thoughts drifted to Charlie. He probably had sent out a fleet of cop cars looking for me by now. I wanted to be far enough south that when I called, it wouldn't be so easy for him to come and drag me back to Forks. I had to take time to heal on my own, Forks wasn't cutting it.

I decided that I didn't have the heart to torture Charlie anymore. So I picked up the phone in the motel room and dialed the number to the house. He must've been sitting right by the phone 'cause it didn't even ring.

"Hello!? Bella, is that you?" Charlie exclaimed.

"Yeah dad, it's me. Hi."

"Oh Bella…" he sighed, "Where are you? Why did you leave? I told you I wanted to help you this time and not to go and do anything rash. What were you thinking? You've gotta…"

I cut him off, "Dad! You've gotta calm down. I'm fine."

"Where are you," he asked.

"I'm still in Washington but I'm not ready to tell you where. I love you dad, I just need time to think. Okay?"

"Bella, I don't agree with this. Just come home, I'll find a way to make it better. Please." He was crying now and it broke my heart.

"I'm sorry dad but I've gotta do this. I'll call you again soon. I love you, bye."

"Bye Bells."

I hung up the phone and slunk into the chair. I decided it was probably a good time to get a shower.

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(Edward's POV)

"Alice," I yelled, "have you seen her yet?"

Alice came around the corner, out of the dining room. She and Jasper were having some sort of discussion that they were trying to keep me from hearing. I did hear a few names of my family involved in their conversation but that was about it.

"Yeah, well sort of. I still don't know where… oh…."

Her face held a blank look that she only got when she was 'seeing' something. I jumped in her head and followed her vision.

It was Bella on the phone with her dad. She was in a motel room but I couldn't see anything that could give any information away. It was the first time I'd seen her since I had left. She looked so fragile, so thin that she was like a walking skeleton. I couldn't believe how much she had changed.

I listened to her conversation and tried to make sense of it.

As angry as I had been with Charlie for blaming this all on me, I knew he was right and I felt sorry for him. I knew he'd be would either be crying or close to it.

She decided to get a shower so Alice and I left to give her privacy.

Seeing her like that broke my heart. I knew I wasn't coming to that 'okay' Bella part of me had hoped to find. Instead I found a ghastly, distraught girl that was not even close to the Bella that I remembered. I was painfully aware that it was because of me and that at the moment, there was nothing I could do to fix it.

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(Bella's POV)

I got into the shower and cringed as the water hit my face. It was too warm. I turned the hot water down a little. It was still too much. Before I knew it, I had turned the hot water completely off and the only water coming out was ice cold.

The freezing water surrounded me. I closed my eyes, letting my muscles tighten under the bitterly cold water.

Tears began streaming down my face, mixing with the cold water. A warm tear drop danced along my cheek, following a cold drop of water. It seemed as though the tear was chasing the drop of water. Eventually, the cold drop fell off my cheek faster than my tear. It sickened me to think how ironic it all was.

Tears began to come faster. I leaned against the shower wall and slipped down to the floor; gasping for air. It wasn't only the cold water that took my breath but the thought of how I was really alone now. My hands began to shake as I weakly reached up and turned off the water.

I pulled my hand back, realizing I was slipping into a black cloud, and then my eyes were shut.

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(Edward's POV)

I heard Alice gasp. I tried to read her mind but she changed it to fast.

"Edward, you can't see this okay. There's a reason you can see her.

"Can't you tell me what happened," I pleaded.

"Only if you promise not to look at my thoughts, there's a reason you can't see it Edward and its cause it's personal. Do you promise?"

"Yes, yes I promise. Please, just tell me what's wrong."

"Look, Bella is in a really dark place right now. She was in the shower, which is why you just can't go looking through my head. She's just really broken and we need to find her fast."

My mind was suddenly set into motion. I at least knew she was on the coast somewhere, still in Washington. Jasper, Alice and I would split up and try and find her. We at least knew she was passed Hoquiam, that's at least a start.


	7. You Found Me

**Don't really have any good songs that go alone with this stuff yet but hang in there if you like that part : ) I'm working on it. Oh and sorry it's late, thunderstorm and internet was on the fritz. **

(Jasper's POV)

It was so simple. The strategy was to split up and look at the cities on the coast after Hoquiam. There weren't many so it'd be easy since we were split up. All we had to do was look for Bella's hideous, red truck. I got lucky and saw Bella's truck in the second city I searched.

It was parked in front of a little motel right on the coast, just like Alice had seen. Everything fit the description so I decided to walk in to the lobby just to make sure she was here. I didn't have the heart to call up Edward and have it be a false alarm, even though I'm sure Bella's the only one with that gosh awful of a clunker.

Her scent was all over the lobby, it was fresh too. I followed her scent up the stairs to the second floor and stopped in front of the room that I expected to be hers.

I knocked on the door but there was no answer. I knocked again before I decided to go in through the window. I headed down the stairs and around to the back of the motel. I was lucky it was a rainy day or there'd be a lot of people watching me scale the wall up to her room.

I jumped on her balcony and found her bags and clothes everywhere. Her scent was all over everything so this had to be her room. It smelled like she was still in the room so I figured she must be in the bathroom still. I sat on her bed and decided to wait for her.

I don't know why I didn't just call Alice and Edward. They'd, or at least Edward, would be mad at me. I couldn't help it though; something was stopping me from picking up the phone. It must have been all the emotions that were circling the room. There was anger, fear, confusion, love; it was enough to make me crazy. I could imagine how she was feeling.

I suppose that all the emotions were what were stopping me. Maybe it was the fact that I wanted to make sure she was… I don't know… stable or something before I called Edward. So I just sat there and waited for Bella to come out of the bathroom.

-------------------------------------------------------

(Bella's POV)

I woke up still in the bathtub. I laughed a little at myself for falling asleep in the bathtub.

"That's a first," I said. I was beginning to feel a little better, as though I was healing. Maybe I am a little. This is exactly what I needed. A distraction… just like Edward needed.

I got up and threw my clothes on and looked in the mirror. My nap did help take away the dark circles under my eyes, even though the nap was bizarre and unintended. My hair was an absolute mess, so much so that even a brush couldn't help it.

I noticed, as I looked at the girl in the mirror, that there was a trace of a smile on her face. It felt good to smile. I walked away from the mirror, the smile still on my face, towards the door. As soon as I opened it, there was something in my room that I didn't expect at all.

-------------------------------------------------------

(Edward's POV)

"Hello?" I opened my phone to hear Alice on the other end.

"Hi Edward, Jazz found Bella."

If my heart could beat it would've sped up at the sound of her name.

"Where is she?"

"Well, I don't know. He didn't call me yet but I just saw him talking to her. It's possible he hasn't found her yet but he will. So you just want to meet up and wait for him to call?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea Alice."

Great, all I had to do now was wait around for Jazz to call. Just a little while longer and I'd be back with Bella. Hopefully I would be holding her in my arms, tell her how much I love her and that I'd never leave her again.

------------------------------------------

(Bella's POV)

"Jasper!" I gasped. "What are you doing here?"

"We came looking for you when we heard you ran away."

"Who's we? You and Alice, I thought you guys were going to visit Tanya and her family in Alaska."

"We did but we came back because Alice saw that Edward was coming back. So when I say we, I mean Alice, Edward and I."

"Why is Edward looking for me!?" I was suddenly angry. "Edward could care less about me. He made that abundantly clear when he left me six months ago Jasper. And if that's not enough, he had to remind me how clear it was when I called him the other day. He thought I was Alice and said 'if you're calling to tell me about Bella and how miserable she is _and _how much I need to come home than save it. I don't want to hear it and I'm not coming home.' What do you think that says about what us Jasp… It sounds like he's moved on and found a distraction he likes better than me."

Jasper winced as anger rolled off of me and then suddenly felt I calm. I instantly felt bad about taking it out on Jasper.

"I'm sorry Jasper," I said. "Thanks for calming me down though. It's just, I'm really confused. I don't want Edward coming back if he doesn't have any intention of staying. It'd just hurt too much you know?"

"I understand that but Bella, I think he does want to come back home to stay. But he's leaving that decision up to you, if you want him around he'll stay but if not, then he'll go."

"Wow Jasp, you really think he'd stay if I wanted him too?"

"Yeah, I really do. I'm supposed to call him when I find you. Are you ready for me to do that or do you need some time?"

"No I'm ready. I just really want to see him."


	8. Crazier

**Hey guys. This is the last chapter but don't forget to check back on the epilogue when I get that done. Thanks to everyone for reading. **

(Edward's POV)

It felt like the longest wait of my life as I sat on the bench with Alice. We set there waiting for Jasper to call us. I was beginning to get restless, what was taking him so long?

"What's taking him so long?" I decided I'd yell out loud. "Why don't we just call him and find out where he's at? We're vampires for goodness sake; we could've found him by now."

"Jasper doesn't like being bothered while he's in the middle of stuff."

"Really Alice? Really? That's dumb, just call him."

Alice drew in a deep breath. "I can't call Jasper because it would mess things up."

I already knew she was keeping something from me. She was trying hard not to think about where Jasper was and how his progress was. She was going over new designs in her head for some clothing line she wanted to make.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"It's just that Bella and Jasper need to talk about some stuff. I think it's really important that we wait till that happens. He calls me right after their done talking."

"What! That's just crazy, I'm calling Jasper."

"Edward… please, just trust me on this. It's better that you don't catch her off guard okay?"

It was if by magic that my phone suddenly rang. I was immediately afraid of what Jasper would say. What was their conversation about? Would he say that Bella didn't want me to come? I didn't want to think about the possibility of Bella not wanting me anymore. I had broken her hear, why would she want me?

"Hello?"

"Hi Edward, I found Bella. We're in Oceanside."

"Okay, Alice and I are on our way."

"Edward…"

"Yeah?"

"Bella thinks you don't care about her anymore."

"How could she think that? That would never happen."

How could Bella think that I don't care about her anymore? Did she really believe everything that I said when I left? She has to know it's been torture for me ever since I left her. She's my life and I know that now more than ever.

"I'm just letting you know. See you in a few minutes."

"Thanks Jasper. Bye."

"Alright Alice," I said. "Let's go get Bella and bring her home."

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(Bella's POV)

"Okay," Jasper said as he came in off the balcony. "Alice and Edward are on their way. Do you feel better?"

"Yeah but Jasper, there's something I need to tell you."

"What's that?"

"I never got to tell you that I wasn't mad at you for what happened at my birthday party. I was never upset with you and I never got to tell you that."

"Thank you Bella, that means a lot. I'm sorry for almost… well you know."

"It's okay. I know it wasn't your fault. I'm just clumsy."

"Yeah… maybe a little," Jasper said. We both laughed. It was the longest conversation Jasper and I ever had to date. It felt really nice to talk to him, to talk to someone that I didn't actually have to lie to.

Jasper and I didn't have to sit long before Alice and Edward came in through the balcony door. Alice was the first one in.

"Bella! Oh Bella you silly girl. Why did you run away?" She ran up to me and pulled me into a tight hug. "You are never to do this again, you hear me?"

"Yes Alice, I'm sorry."

"Yeah I know." She had a huge smile plastered on her face as she turned around to face Edward.

"Bella," Edward said. It was like the first day of biology class all over again; the awkward 'hellos' and the staring.

"Jasper how about you and I go for a walk on the beach, "Alice asked. Jasper nodded and they left before I had time to say anything in response.

I couldn't move. It was like seeing Edward for the first time. He still took my breath away. For the past six months I had wondered what I would do; what I would say if I saw Edward again. Would I run straight into his arms? Would I cry? Would I be angry?

I found myself gradually walking towards him. My breath came in short, ragged breaths. It was as though I was having an outer body experience. It was like I was watching myself slowly walk towards this perfect boy. We were across the room from each other but I could smell him; he was intoxicating.

The mere perfection of his face and the glow of his skin were drawing me closer to him. Everything about him was reeling me towards him, like a fish on a hook.

I felt my knees start to give out but I took in a deep breath and took another step. If this was the last night I had before he left me again, I was not going to be weak. I was going to be strong. I wouldn't let him seem me fall.

He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it as if he changed his mind. Instead he held out his hand and smiled his crooked smile that took my breath away every time I thought of him. It was as if he had stepped out of my dreams and came back to me. This couldn't be real, I had to be dreaming… and that scared me more than anything.

I stopped and stared at his outstretched hand. I don't know how long I stood there staring at him. I brought up my gaze to meet his. His eyes were troubled and tortured. They were the same liquid, gold eyes I remembered. There was so much sadness and almost regret in eyes.

I realized at that moment that I didn't care if he wanted me forever by his side. I didn't care about anything, I was going to take this moment and keep it forever no matter what happened.

I ran to him, wrapping my arms around him. He wrapped his arms around me and picked me up; spinning me around. I was drowning in his presence. I couldn't help myself. I started kissing him. I kissed every part of his face and ran my fingers through his hair.

"Bella, oh Bella I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I left you."

He set me down and looked me in the eyes. "Bella, I love you. I will never leave you again. I'll stay with you as long as you want me."

"I want you forever Edward."

"Then I'll stay forever."

"You promise?"

"Oh course I do. I love you Bella."

"I love you too Edward."

He lifted me into his arms and carried me to the bed. This all had to be a dream. I've wanted this so badly for the last six months and now it was happening. He was back in my arms and it felt like he had never left.

His lips were at my jaw, grazing his lips across it. He made a line of kisses all the way up to my forehead. He placed a single kiss on the middle of my forehead, keeping his lips there and breathing in deeply.

My breathing became ragged as he held me; nuzzling is head in my hair. He took long, deep breaths and with my favorite crooked smile he kissed my lips.

"You know you're driving me crazy right?"

Everything about him was sending me to cloud nine; the way he smelled, how his cool touch burned my skin, the way his lips tasted. I was struggling to get a grip on things. This had to be a dream. I was going to wake up any second and the hole was going to be even larger. But worse than that, my Edward would be gone.

"I know," he said with a smirk. "Your heart is racing." He placed his head on my heart and listened as my heart beat even faster. I ran my fingers through his hair, all the while making a memory of everything. No matter how much it hurt, I wanted to remember every moment of this dream.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

"I'm thinking about how much this is going to hurt when I wake up from this dream."

"Bella sweetie, you aren't dreaming. I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

"It all feels too good to be true. I've missed you so much Edward, why did you leave?"

Tears were starting to form and I couldn't hold them back.

He looked up at me and softly said, "It was a mistake. I thought it would be better if I left; if you found your own life."

"I couldn't move on because you're such a strong part of me Edward, I need you. You're the very best part of me. Without you there isn't a life for me."

"I know that now Bella and I'm sorry. Very…" he placed a kiss on my cheek. "Very…" and another on my other check. "Sorry, "he said as he placed a final kiss on my lips. "You as well are the very best part of me."

_Crazier – Taylor Swift___

I never gone with the wind  
Just let it flow  
let it take me where it wants to go  
'till you open the door there's so much more  
I've never seen it before  
I was trying to fly  
but I couldn't find wings  
but you came along and you changed everything

chorus:  
you lift my feet off the ground  
you spin me around  
you make me crazier crazier  
feels like i'm falling  
and I, I'm lost in your eyes  
you make me crazier crazier crazier

I watched from a distance as you made life your own  
every sky was your own kind of blue  
and I wanted to know how that would feel  
and you made it so real  
you showed me something that I couldn't see  
you opened my eyes and you made me believe

chorus

Baby you showed me what living is for  
I don't want to hide anymore

chorus


	9. The Book of Love Epilouge

**So here is the Epilogue. I had a lot of fun writing this and I learned a lot. I learned about what works and what doesn't. Thanks to all who sent a review and added the story to their favorites list. It means a lot and it's a great incentive to write more. Also, I meant to mention this a long time ago but on my profile page I have links to all of the songs that I used during the story. This way you can hear the story and how it'll set the moon. I have a better idea on how to use that next time. So without further adou, the rest of the story. **

**---------------------------------------------**

EPILOUGE:

(Edward's POV)

_La Tua Cantante – Yiruma (This song doesn't have lyrics but the link is posted on my profile) .com/watch?v=fmj-p6e-THo_

Bella slept in my arms that night. I wouldn't have it any other way. I wanted to lay there forever with her in my arms; drowning in her. I had forgotten how much her blood called to me. 'La Tua Cantante' as Alice once called her; which was Italian for "Your Singer". Even though when Alice had used the term, it was something I cringed at. Something I didn't want to think about, even now. The fate that Alice had once seen of me ending Bella's life was no longer a concern. I needed Bella in so many ways. I needed her by my side, no matter what. I wanted to watch her grow and experience everything. I wanted her to be my wife.

I thought about all the things we could have together. We could have a long and happy life together.

Bella began to stir in my arms, waking from a deep sleep. She was starting to look like herself. The dark circles were beginning to fade and there was color in her cheeks. There was also a smile and warmth that I was starting to feel. She was becoming my Bella again.

She looked up at me and smiled. "It wasn't a dream was it? It was all real, everything you said. You really are back aren't you?" she asked.

"Yes love, I'm back. I'm not going anywhere where you aren't," I said.

Then I looked into her eyes, "Bella there's something I want to ask you."

"What is it Edward?"

"Bella, you don't know how much I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I can't imagine a better way to do that then to…" I chocked on the words. How would she react? Would she even want me like that after what happened?

"To what Edward?"

"Then to marry me. Bella I _want_ you to marry me; to be my wife, to live with me every second."

The look in her eyes told me she was surprised.

"Edward I…"

"I know it's crazy and you're young but Bella I'd wait to marry you. No matter how long it takes, just as long as you say you'll be mine. That you'll be my fiancé so I can show the world that you are mine and how much I love you."

"It's not that Edward, I mean it is crazy and we… or at least I am young but that's not what I was going to say. I was going to say yes Edward. Yes!"

It's hard to say what happened after that. It was as if everything was a blur. Alice and Jasper came rushing in. Alice was jumping up and down, going on about all the details of the wedding and how she was going to have to take Bella around the world to find a dress.

I wasn't paying a lot attention to anything. I kept replaying in my head, Bella saying 'yes'. Bella had said yes to me when she had said no to everyone else. Bella would be mine forever.

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(Bella's POV)

It feels weird looking back on those months when Edward had left. It feels like it was a stranger's memories that I was looking back on. What I do remember is the night Edward came back to me. The night he told me he would love me forever. It was the night he asked me to marry him.

I reflected on that night as I walked down the hall. My father was by my sad, tears on his cheek. He kept saying "my baby, my little girl" as we walked. I looked at him and smiled, "I love you daddy."

"I love you to Bells," was all he was able to stay, suppressing another round of tears.

I got to the end of the hall and found Alice waiting at the top of the stairs.

"It's time Bella, let's go," she said.

I took in a deep breath and watched her walk down the stairs. She was absolutely gorgeous as usual.

Charlie and I walked to the top of the stairs. "Don't let me fall dad." He smiled and said, "I won't."

I got to the bottom of the stairs and stopped breathing as I reached the aisle. At the end was Edward. He was stunning as he stood there with Jasper and Emmet by his side.

Rosalie began playing my lullaby as Charlie and I walked down the aisle. He placed my hand in Edwards and kissed me on the cheek. This was it, I was marrying my Edward. I would be his forever.

The ceremony flew by so quickly but there is one thing that I do remember very clearly. I remember Edward and how I felt when the minister pronounced us 'husband and wife'.

_The Book of Love – Peter Gabriel_

_The book of love is long and boring  
No one can lift the damn thing  
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing  
But I  
I love it when you read to me  
And you  
You can read me anything  
The book of love has music in it  
In fact that's where music comes from  
Some of it is just transcendental  
Some of it is just really dumb  
But I  
I love it when you sing to me  
And you  
You can sing me anything  
The book of love is long and boring  
And written very long ago  
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes  
And things we're all too young to know  
But I  
I love it when you give me things  
And you  
You ought to give me wedding rings  
And I  
I love it when you give me things  
And you  
You ought to give me wedding rings  
And I  
I love it when you give me things  
And you  
You ought to give me wedding rings  
You ought to give me wedding rings_

.com/watch?v=fYbRugkyC7M&feature=related

_The end_

**Well that's the end of this story guys. Thanks so much to everyone who read. Please review and let me know what you all though. Love ya guys! Bye!**


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